We often receive calls from parents
who want their children to visit a homeless shelter
to learn to be thankful for what they have. Children
learn gratitude by visiting shelters, but it is not
for possessions. Consider these reactions from kids
who visited a homeless shelter:
Phillip, age 9, "WOW! That was
so cool. You mean all those kids live together and
play together all the time? I bet they never get lonely."
Rachel, age 13, "The kids were
all so happy there. They don’t have anything,
but they are still happy. Maybe they know more than
I do."
Gratitude is a perception — a way
of looking at things. We often learn true gratitude
from the ones we pity. A homeless child can teach us
to be grateful for friends and laughter. A bed-ridden
and ill person can teach us to be grateful for seasons
and sunsets. In Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom,
Morrie is a college professor who is dying from Lou
Gehrig’s disease. Although the disease had claimed
control of his body, Morrie described how he manages
his spirit:
He nodded toward the window with the
sunshine streaming in. "You see that? You can
go out there, outside, anytime. You can run up and
down the block and go crazy. I can’t do that.
I can’t go out. I can’t run. I can’t
be out there without fear of getting sick. But you
know what? I appreciate that window more than you
do…I look out that window every day. I notice
the change in the trees, how strong the wind is blowing…I
am drawn to nature like I’m seeing it for the
first time."
Like Morrie, children can be trained to
search for a silver lining in any situation and to appreciate
the windows in their lives. Those little (or maybe big)
obstacles, which seem to block the way, may be golden
gateways. Our busy lives are not conducive to time spent
on appreciating obstacles. Americans have come to use
critical logic the way a child uses his "blankee."
We are trained to notice what is broken, what still
needs to be done, what we want but don’t yet have.
The rhythm of our lives, for both adults and children,
has for many of us, reached tachycardia.
Gratitude is grown in the pauses, the
exhales of life. A musician, Arthur Schnabel once said,
"The notes I handle no better than many pianists.
But the pauses between the notes – ah, that is
where the art resides."
Check your life-rhythm. If the beat is
irregular and ineffective, try to slow down. Apply some
pauses. Here are some ideas for teaching children an
attitude of gratitude:
- Play a game with your kids to find
the hidden blessing in a situation
- Keep a "Gratitude Attitude Calendar"
in the kitchen and ask your kids to contribute one
thing they are grateful for each day
- Offer "Silver Lining" awards
to any child who can turn a bad situation into a blessing
- Encourage older kids to keep "Perspective
Journals" where they explore a situation from
several points of view
- Read Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell
together
- Let each child be "Tude"
for a day and let him know why you are grateful for
his life
Attitude of Gratitude Building Exercise
Materials Needed:
Paper, pencils
Steps Involved:
- Take two sheets of paper and make three equal columns on each. Give each child two sheets.
- Label the first page “MY LIFE LIST.” The columns should be labeled: WHAT I WANT, WHAT I NEED, and HOW LUCKY I AM. Discuss the difference between wants and needs. Ask the children to fill in the columns.
- Ask each child to create another LIFE LIST with the same labeled columns on page two. In completing the second Life List, the children should imagine that they are facing a life challenge such as homelessness or illness. If you are doing this exercise with more than two children, assign them each a “challenge.” One child will be homeless, another child will have just moved and has no friends, another child will have cancer, etc.
- Ask the child to imagine – “WHAT “I” WANT, “WHAT“I” NEED, and HOW LUCKY “I” AM, under those circumstances and list the answers under the columns.
- Ask the children to compare the second Life List of wants, needs, and luck with their own needs.
- Ask the following questions:
- What can we learn from the perspective of the other child?
- What does he/she need from us?
- Finally, ask your children to go back to their own lucky list and expand it based on what they learned by imagining that they were facing a life challenge.
